We train people how to treat us
This is so incredibly true.
When a relationship goes awry, I have to remember this.
And of course the door swings both ways. The other person has "trained" - or attempted to train - me to treat them in a certain way, just as I have "trained" - or attempted to train - the other person.
I have to ask myself how I trained someone to treat me in such an objectionable way (disrespectful, uncaring, uncommunicative).
If one side doesn't listen, isn't clear about what they need, want or expect, doesn't respond to requests, isn't willing to communicate or negotiate?
Obviously, it's not working; it takes two people to have a relationship.
I guess the big issue is to make sure we listen, no matter what the other person does, so we can feel clean about our part in the relationship.
Not just listen to what is being asked of us, but be aware when the other person does not respond to us so we can remove ourselves from the situation to prevent further, needless hurt.
Chances are if they don't listen or respond early in the relationship, it won't get any better - in fact, it will most probably just get worse. Perhaps they may not know how to respond - or they may have decided the relationship is not important enough for them to make any effort to communicate or negotiate.
Ouch!
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference; it's neglect.
What becomes clear is the title of the popular book, "He's Just Not That Into You."
It may hurt a lot in the short run, but in the long run we will feel so much better so much sooner if we face that as early as possible so we can extract ourselves from a hurtful situation..
After all, if he's just not that into you - he's just not.
Relationships cannot work in a vacuum - the only person who can make sure we are treated the way we want, need and deserve is us.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of real life and training - I start an all-out fitness regimen with someone this morning at 7am!
We'll be working out four days a week; I'll also be doing long, hill-filled walks carrying weights several days a week.
I need to get in top shape for my surgery January 4!
--------------------------------------------------------------
HEADS UP! HEADS UP!
30 ROCK, the sitcom starring Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan is switching from Wednesday to Thursday night, 9:30pm/8:30 central on NBC. The show is getting pretty hilarious!
--------------------------------------------------------------
My deepest condolences go to the family of Katie Dolan, a Seattle woman who was a national pioneer for the rights of the disabled. Katie was responsible for getting the first law in the US passed that included disabled kids in our school systems in Washington State.
It wasn't long before her work gained national significance and clout, helping literally hundreds of thousands of families throughout the US and later internationally.
Katie's family, friends and colleagues have every reason to be proud to have known and worked with her over the years. She was also a pioneer television personality in the Northwest.
Rest in peace, Katie. You done good.
When a relationship goes awry, I have to remember this.
And of course the door swings both ways. The other person has "trained" - or attempted to train - me to treat them in a certain way, just as I have "trained" - or attempted to train - the other person.
I have to ask myself how I trained someone to treat me in such an objectionable way (disrespectful, uncaring, uncommunicative).
If one side doesn't listen, isn't clear about what they need, want or expect, doesn't respond to requests, isn't willing to communicate or negotiate?
Obviously, it's not working; it takes two people to have a relationship.
I guess the big issue is to make sure we listen, no matter what the other person does, so we can feel clean about our part in the relationship.
Not just listen to what is being asked of us, but be aware when the other person does not respond to us so we can remove ourselves from the situation to prevent further, needless hurt.
Chances are if they don't listen or respond early in the relationship, it won't get any better - in fact, it will most probably just get worse. Perhaps they may not know how to respond - or they may have decided the relationship is not important enough for them to make any effort to communicate or negotiate.
Ouch!
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference; it's neglect.
What becomes clear is the title of the popular book, "He's Just Not That Into You."
It may hurt a lot in the short run, but in the long run we will feel so much better so much sooner if we face that as early as possible so we can extract ourselves from a hurtful situation..
After all, if he's just not that into you - he's just not.
Relationships cannot work in a vacuum - the only person who can make sure we are treated the way we want, need and deserve is us.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of real life and training - I start an all-out fitness regimen with someone this morning at 7am!
We'll be working out four days a week; I'll also be doing long, hill-filled walks carrying weights several days a week.
I need to get in top shape for my surgery January 4!
--------------------------------------------------------------
HEADS UP! HEADS UP!
30 ROCK, the sitcom starring Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan is switching from Wednesday to Thursday night, 9:30pm/8:30 central on NBC. The show is getting pretty hilarious!
--------------------------------------------------------------
My deepest condolences go to the family of Katie Dolan, a Seattle woman who was a national pioneer for the rights of the disabled. Katie was responsible for getting the first law in the US passed that included disabled kids in our school systems in Washington State.
It wasn't long before her work gained national significance and clout, helping literally hundreds of thousands of families throughout the US and later internationally.
Katie's family, friends and colleagues have every reason to be proud to have known and worked with her over the years. She was also a pioneer television personality in the Northwest.
Rest in peace, Katie. You done good.
posted by cp @ 6:11 AM
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