Desperation

The one thing that has killed more acting careers than anything else?

Desperation.

Actors who come in desperate to get the job can't let go of their fears enough to become totally immersed in their character - to be someone else.

One actress I know, who has actually booked a lot of work over the years, helped another actor who didn't have a full script in their audition. She was upset that the director didn't give her the part, especially considering she - who had the whole script and more experience - actually helped out the other actor in the audition.

I said, "It sounds like you weren't completely in character if you were concentrating on solving problems at an audition.

"Your character doesn't know he or she is at an audition, let alone helping someone at an audition."

When she thought about it, she realized that she couldn't completely commit to the character because she was also focused on the other actor and trying to make the audition work.

When I cast, I want to give most of the actors who audition a good and simple piece of advice of how to gain a foot up on getting a role - just be totally in character. There is a little spark of desperation in the eyes of too many actors that screams, "Please pick me!" "I can do this!" "I need the job!" "God, I hope I'm giving her what she wants!" "What does she want?"

All we want is for you to come in prepared, to give us strong choices for your character that you've developed for your own reasons based on the character's personality. Then let it go.

Recently one of my actors auditioned for a film role.

The casting director and film director asked if she knew another actor who had auditioned several days earlier.

My actor said she did - it was another of my actors.

The casting duo asked, "What's with people who work with Colleen Patrick? You two were the only actors who really impressed us .. and you're so ... happy. The other actors ..."

Apparently not so much.

Actors who understand that the work is its own reward, who work to be and stay in character and who aren't desperate to "make it" find their life much more peaceful and they are much happier making the most of their personal lives and their art.

I hope you have the opportunity to read the column I wrote for the upcoming movieScope magazine -- an interview with CCH Pounder.

She's a tremendous role model for actors who want to make the most of their careers and personal lives. She's a happy, optimistic person who laughs easily and often - while playing tough, don't-mess-with-me characters who either lay down the law -- or enforce it!

Life altering decisions

As I get more deeply into preproduction of FYP Productionz' film FREEDOM - writing, directing and producing with my FYP biz-whiz/exec. producer and acting partner Brittany Quist, I'm also thinking of finishing the script and moving into prepro for our upcoming comedy feature NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH early next year.

Right now, my coaching practice is full, and I know that continuing to do a spectacular job at both maintaining my current coaching schedule and making films won't allow me to excel at either. Both careers are very intense and time consuming and deserve my complete attention.

Having a balance with my personal life as well means something has to give, so I've decided to close my coaching practice to the general public as of Nov. 30, 2007; that means I won't be accepting any more actors or writers from the general public as of Nov. 30, 2006, because one year of working with me should put them on the road to pursuing their craft professionally.

I won't ever stop coaching - I enjoy it too much, it's incredibly challenging and keeps all my directing and writing chops very sharp because I work with so many different types of people who require such an extraordinary range of knowledge. But I'll be coaching only the people with whom I've been working over the years as well as actors who are cast in FYP films.

As difficult a decision as it is, it's also easy. I *love* writing and directing - and producing (although I hope to leave the producing side to Brittany and others as we grow) - and my dream has always been to work with a filmmaking "family" - a group of talented, skilled, positive, appreciative, and hardworking artists whose goal is excellence in all they do so we can create affordable, memorable work. Projects of which we can always be proud.

We're not out for the "Hollywood Dream." You know, the "get rich quick" syndrome. We're out to make a living and delight in the pleasure of doing fantastic work with fantastic people for fantastic audiences!

It's important that we don't do too much too quickly, but instead maintain a steady flow of great projects that have a significant range - from serious documentaries to dramatic and thrilling shorts and features to hysterically hilarious comedy shorts and features.

Incredibly, there are more and more markets in the US and internationally for good independent short films, documentaries and indie feature projects that can sustain a small production company like ours.

I look forward to giving 100% to my coachees this next year, as well as working on FYP's growing film repertoire. And I look forward to becoming a full-time writer/director after that!

Stay tuned - I'll take you with me as we live our production company title ... FYP in FYP Productionz stands for Follow Your Passion.

And that's what we're doing.

Suffering an ack! Attack!

I go through this every time I write an original script that doesn't look like anything else I've ever read with characters who haven't been seen on screen before. I don't do any of this to be "unique," it just turns out that way.

Stress.

Distractions.

Shortness of breath.

And a girl has to eat - lots. You know, keep my writing energy up for when I finally start tapping those keys! Like "carbing" before a marathon race?

Perhaps I should go grocery shopping. Yes, yes, and buy only healthy stuff. Like ... like ... Can't think of anything *tasty* and healthy. I need advice.

I'll surf the net for ideas. Key words: healthy foods for people who don't cook.

Then make a grocery list.

Another list.

I hate being listless.

I love lists. Especially "to do" lists. I could write and read them forever. Perhaps I should think of actually *doing* at least some of that stuff. Starting ... I don't know ... now..?

Wait. Is my phone ringing?

Hello? Hello?

Oh - right. I turned it off. So I can write.

Right. Write.

I can't believe I haven't practiced the piano this month! If I start now perhaps I can catch up... Where is that song I'm working on - the BeeGees' "Words?" It's around here somewhe-

Wow. Just caught my reflection in the window. I *have* lost a lot of weight. Thanks to those age-old remedies: push my plate away and work out.

Exercise.

Yes, I should put a little pep in my step to spend a few more calories by taking my energetic step-dog (for whom I'm caring another two weeks) on a brisk walk, taking on two MONSTER HILLS! brb.
----

Back.

Whew! Sunny and warm out there! And I'm just in time to take the clothes out of the dryer and put them away. Anything else for the laundry? Gotta keep up with the washing-

Washing.

Reminds me of *water.* Have to feed my fish and treat their tank! I had no idea taking care of an aqarium would be so much work! brb.
---

Back.

Did I tell you I started cleaning out my den? The den in which innocent people have entered and never been seen again? It's going to take me *days* to clear, clean and organize. It's stacked up to the ceiling with papers, scripts, books, DVD's, video tapes, skeletons, yadda yadda yadda.

After I clean it I'm putting everything back on the new sleek shelves I'm building ... in alphabetical order.

Building those shelves has turned out to be *much* more of a project than I thought it would. Take me days.

Once I get them built, everything put away, the bathroom spotless and disinfected, the kitchen cleaned and clear out the fireplace ashes, I can gather all the script notes and homework I've prepared on over the weeks.

So I can write.

Write. Write ... that reminds me ...

I need to catch up on my emails!

And of course my blog! :-)

EDITED TO ADD:

Um, an email from my movieScope magazine editor reminding me of my impending column deadline - gulp - inspired me to finish my article immediately. Suddenly my mind is clear and my willing, non-procrastinating fingers are tapping away!

My Mystery Actress revealed

Here's an article just released in an international publication:

Agnes Muljadi!

Letting you fall

Building on yesterday's blog:

One of the more difficult challenges of being a mentor or coach is allowing you fall, just as I suggest parents of very young children (whose chance of injury is nearly nonexistent since they're so close to the ground) allow them to do so they can learn to get up on their own - in their own way.

Notice I say "fall" and not "fail."

Learning how to fall so you don't get unnecessarily hurt, then teaching yourself how to get up on your own is, in fact, the picture of a successful venture.

Falling is not failing.

Falling is what normally happens to an ever-changing body as it deals with an ever-changing environment, no matter our age.

It's tough to watch you fall because I could so easily catch you -- provide the instant answer, fill in the blanks, tell you what to do. But that wouldn't be fostering your confidence as you discover your personal learning style and problem-solving method or system.

How do you fall?

How do you get yourself up?

Your mind, body and soul all relate to this movement metaphor.

You don't have to take a nasty header to teach yourself how to get up. Put yourself on the floor or ground, then figure out how you can pull your body back into an upright position.

Of course you can also learn how to fall without hurting yourself at any age; you never know when - or where - this skill will come in handy!

Falling down

Most of the people who come to me in my coaching practice are in the process of overcoming a very large personal fear -- the fear of doing what they genuinely want and love to do. They're afraid 1) of pursuing their passion; 2) of failing at the pursuit of this passion and 3) feeling lost in the process of finding their way through this growing, artistic process.

Learning how to let their inner artist flourish takes a lot of work and willingness to screw up, make mistakes and bump into walls on the way to perfecting their craft.

Many coachees tell me of parents who constantly warned them not to do things because they might get hurt.

Getting hurt is part of life's process, especially when the journey is one to discover ourselves and the truths within us. The victory ... our success ... is deciding how to deal with painful experiences in healthy and productive ways that allow us to grow as people and artists.

When I'm out and about, I see parents with young cherubic children - who are so close to the ground, chances are they'd bounce if they fell. Hanging on to them, their parents warn them to be careful or they'll fall down!

Children who are overly warned and frightened - for well-intended reasons - run the risk of being denied the confidence they need to make their way through the world on their own terms, in their own way.

I believe we've got to let our kids fall when the possibility of them getting hurt is miniscule - as nature intends it.

If we don't let them fall in the normal process of adjusting to their still small but growing bodies, they won't learn how to get up.

On their own.

Freedom

That's the working title of the film I'm working on now. It will star Brazillian actor Rodrigo DeMedeiros, Agnes Muljadi and Brittany Quist.

I'm doing the background and homework I need to in order to make this a real sizzler that will (hopefully) captivate you completely as it creates individual, political and institutional aspects of freedom you may not have considered - putting it all up close, forcing three people to grapple with the fight for their own ideas and interpretations of freedom.

I'll have the script finished by the end of the coming week. Personalizing philosophies is lots of fun for me, as well as simplifying what are very complex issues -- making them clear and understandable for the audience.

George Clooney says it best: what films do really well is raise the questions, films fail when they try to preach or think for you.

A film's best when it exposes you to tons of ideas and allows you to make your own decisions about whatever issue is tossed about. And Freedom is a huge topic - encompassing so many aspects of how we think and respond to literally everything in our lives.

It sounds a little esoteric at this point, but that's only because I don't want to give too much away, since I think you'll be drawn in by the film when you see it.

We entertain, you decide! ;-)

Just ask yourself: do *you* feel free? In your life? In your work? In your relationships? In your country? How you feel makes all the difference, regardless of how things look - or how they really are for that matter.

It is another short -- we (FYP Productionz) were going directly into our feature, Nothing But The Truth, but this project is just too good to pass up, so we decided to go ahead with Freedom first.

Tomorrow I start taking care of a friend's dog while she's off to Italy for three weeks. Which means we will have a full house of pets .. 3 dogs, a cat and 6 fish. It will be fun, since he's such a little love and gets along so well with the whole family!

He's in for a real treat, too. He's getting some training so we can surprise his owner when she returns: I know she'll be thrilled to see him doing back flips, cartwheels and speaking Japanese.. ;-)

Or he could be shaking hands, walking without pulling on the leash and stuff like that.

Woof.

CCH Pounder!

This morning I had the pleasure of interviewing her for my movieScope magazine column on acting for the camera.

You can especially realize what a great actor she is when you chat with her IRL (in real life).

Contrary to the tough cop - judge - attorney - you name it powerful don't-mess-with-me cynical role you've seen her portray in the past several years? The woman is actually an optimist and very positive; she laughs easily and is one happy person - her joy in life is infectious!

I'll be writing about the good works she and her anthropologist husband do fighting AIDS (among other charitable causes in which they participate) and other artistic endeavors here - including a vocal CD Smoke.

Her CCH Pounder website is still a work in progress - but it's a great place to catch up on at least some of the many acting awards for which she has been nominated and won.

If you're an actor, director or producer, Ms. Pounder has some terrific insights about improvements that can be made in the industry as well as some enjoyable (now -painful at the time) vignettes about career decisions that she blew along the way -- in hopes you can avoid some of the pitfalls.

Honestly, I have no idea how I can cram all the wisdom and sharp critiques she shared with me into one column. So I'll just have to write what I can't fit into the column right here, gentle reader!

At the conclusion of our interview, I told Ms. Pounder that speaking with her has made me a richer person. If you know me, you know I do not say these things cavalierly.

I hope you have the opportunity to read my column - and learn what this internationally reknowned artist has to say that will help your art, craft and self-knowledge.

Knowing others; knowing ourselves

There's a new Jet Li movie promo that quotes Taoist Philosopher Lao Tsu as saying:

Knowing others gives you strength
Knowing yourself makes you fearless

I've read this is not an accurate translation, but it is in the spirit of the elder wise man whose writings are revered as much as the legendary Confucius.

Two other translations I've read of Tsu's words online translated by Stephen Addiss and Stanley Lombardo:

Knowing others is intelligent
Knowing yourself is enlightened

Conquering others takes force
Conquering yourself is true strength

Any way you wish to quote whoever writes about knowing anything about anyone, the only person we can *ever* really know is ourselves. The only person we can ever control is .. ourselves. And how we react to what life hands us.

If we learn how to respond in a way that makes us happy with ourselves; gives us a sense of pride in our thoughts and behavior and path in life?

There is a sense of fearlessness when it comes to dealing with others honestly and compassionately; when it comes to taking the best care of ourselves.

I have a system of "breaking down" characters for my writers and actors - wherein I suggest they figure out the spiritual and material sides of each person.

Material people care how things look, not how they really are. Spiritual people care how things really are, not how they look.

Material people care about how others see them, their possessions, their lifestyle, their hair, nails, whatever.

Spiritual people care about how they obtain and maintain the greatest and highest care and use of their bodies - as in healthy, as in strong. They also care about the highest and greatest enjoyment of relationships, possessions and living areas.

Material people want others to do things for and give things to them; spiritual people enjoy giving as well as receiving.

A person with a very lopsided spiritual list has as many problems - though different - as a person whose list is lopsided on the material side. There is a healthy balance.

A more spiritual person is a usually warmer, with a generous spirit.

I am not speaking about money defining materialism nor religion relating to spirituality.

I have a friend whose father is extremely wealthy - who started with *nothing* and worked his way up his business food chain with impeccable integrity, taking great care of his clients and by being genuine. He wanted to help his customers more than take their money and because of that they trusted him with their money. He under promised and over delivered.

He went on to earn considerable sums of money, and today he is considered to be the most sincere, warm, generous, affectionate and loving person - friend and family member. He is .. fearless. And has a balance of spiritual and material values in his life.

On the other hand, there are people who claim to be extremely spiritual (with and without large amounts of money) and yet are cold, rigid, distant and near miserly with their feelings. They attend weekly worship services yet seem afraid to touch people or be touched. They are .. fearful.

And there are people who have almost no material possessions who are the most spiritual, warm, generous, affectionate individuals -- people just love to be around them.

Very material people care too much about what others think or how others might judge them; they don't know or love themselves and are fearful. So they're constantly trying to make up for what they fear they lack. They cut others down to build themselves up. They look down on others because they can't look up to themselves.

To thine own self be true.

But you have to know who you are in order to understand what it means -- and what it takes to be true to yourself.

Follow your passion! That's what FYP Productionz is all about. But if my business partner Brittany Quist and I didn't know who we are, how would we be able to define what our passion is? How would we know what passion to follow?

People actually hire me to help them find their passion - and they are shocked at how simple it can be once they learn how to know themselves. When you know who you are and what makes you tick? You understand what makes you happy.

Simple.

Not easy, mind you. It takes courage and hard work to find the real you because of all the messages you've received from every institution that has raised you - family, religion, education, peer groups, media, government, culture. Unfortunately most of them pressure you to fit in rather than think independently or find your purpose - passion - in life.

Sadly, I'd say most people never achieve the genuine awareness of who they are and their purpose in life. I see so many people walk looking straight ahead; who only see their purpose as going from one place to the next, rather than looking around at the world that is passing them by as they make their way to their next destination.

The journey is the destination.

I feel badly for them. They're missing out on the wonder of life and happiness that is literally theirs for the taking if they ever decide to have it and take the action necessary to create it.

Cell(ular) soul

Well, eek.

I misplaced my cell phone, so had to get another to prevent anyone from abusing my minutes if they find it.

Which means the hundred or so phone numbers I had stored in it must be tracked down and replaced. So I've been inputting numbers over the past several hours thanks to people emailing me their numbers.

This appears to be a common phenomenon because many of the numbers have come with messages of serious sympathy, followed by "BTDT" (been there, done that).

In case you don't know, emergency and rescue workers are trained to check your cell phone as quickly as they can and look under "ICE" - which stands for In Case (of) Emergency, where you should include the number of someone who should be notified in case you are in an accident or need assistance. It's one of the first numbers I input.

It also helps if you alert the person whose number you've input under ICE so they don't take valuable time wondering why on earth the police, fire fighter, emergency or rescue crew member is calling you -- in case they have no idea whom they're treating.

The best part of my new camera is that it takes pictures, so I've been going rather bonkers snapping photos of just about everything in front of me. I have to wait for everyone I know to get photo-using phones in order to send them ... someplace. As it is, the few people I know with picture-bearing phones will receive a tsunami of pet and people snapshots.

This Wednesday I'm interviewing the fantastic CCH Pounder for movieScope magazine. This amazing artist leaves her indelible print on everything she does. She currently plays a tough cop - Detective Claudette Wyms - in the hit FX Networks' edgy award winning TV series "The Shield."

This South American-born artist first came to the major attention of American audiences in 1987 with her searing performance in the memorable indie feature Bagdad Cafe.

Her personal life and career are amazing, but you'll read more about them here than you will in the magazine because my interview focuses almost exclusively on the craft, art and passion of performing for the camera.

It's a hit!

In a nutshell, everyone - people who worked on the film and those who did not - proclaimed Mortal Wound a hit! And the cast *hot!*

Ethan Hoyt, one of the stars, couldn't come because he's vacationing with his family in England - so he sent a splendid bouquet of flowers to spiff up the evening. They are gorgeous!

We had an extended q&a session, which was lots of fun with loads of side splitting laughter -- reliving those golden moments of making it!

Now it's on to working on the new project today - Freedom, for which my aspirations are equally as high!

Set photographer, makeup, hair, wardrobe and cast are expected -- possibly others as well if their schedule permits.

Then it's time for the fam and friends!

The Wrap Party

Tonight is the wrap party for Mortal Wound - which means almost everyone who participated in the making of the film, plus friends and family, will be watching its mini-premiere. I'm looking forward to everyone's response to their work and the film itself.

It should be fun!

Meanwhile, Mortal Wound behind us, I'm now excited to do another short film - Freedom - before tackling the comedy feature Nothing But The Truth.

Freedom stars Rodrigo DeMedeiros, Agnes Muljadi and FYP Productionz' own Brittany Quist.

It's an intense story; each of the characters extremely strong and unique. It's also a keen visual journey.

Set designer/dresser Shefskie Paba's work is cut out for him -- every prop and every piece of scenery - seen from every angle - must tell a story of its own, enhance the drama itself and/or assist the development of the characters.

Like Mortal Wound, these characters are not people you've seen on screen before.

Tomorrow makeup, hair, wardrobe artists and the set photographer gather with me and the cast for preproduction work making decisions on color, textures, angles, visual metaphors, etc.

I'll also start hearing sounds (yes, that *does* explain a lot, doesn't it??? ;-) which I'll jot down and send to composer Evan Schiller so he can start creating samples for the score.

Ordinarily films are completed, then sent to a composer, but I find that the more time the composer has, the more involved she or he is with the creative process, the better, more original and memorable the music/sound.

Another creative cinematic adventure!

Meanwhile, my coaching practice is completely full, which means a lot of people will be getting a lot of work!

And one of my actresses is making sure my social life reflects the quality of my work! Hurrah!

Trust

Here's a character development thought:

Do we have personal trust funds?

For instance, when someone appears to be trustworthy, haven't they invested a certain amount of trust in your relationship bank?

So what happens when it feels like they've make a surprise withdrawal?

Should it matter how much or why?

What should happen when they say it will undoubtedly happen again - and in the same way - but that it shouldn't matter to you because that's their "lifestyle?"

Should there be a clear separation of lifestyle and-

Eeeeeeeew. Are those snails in my fish tank ... getting it ON??

Snail porn? Eeew.

I need a shower...

Busy times call for busy measures!

Between coaching 'round the clock and working on the new short film (putting crew together, getting cast underway on their work and script writing), writing the feature comedy script and having just the slightest measure of a life - I just had to drop by and apologize for not posting these past couple days!

Good times!

Many thoughts and reports are on the way! Peace in!

New US pledge of allegiance

One nation, under surveillance ...

Special friends, special people

Allow me to introduce you to my friends Penny and Adrienne.

They are, in my mind, the backbone of America. They stand for everything that is great about this nation; they are not only the glue that keeps their extended world together, but they make it a healthier, happier and more peaceful world.

They are hard-working (Penny has her own thriving accounting business; Adrienne works at a Northwest University), tax-paying, church-going, non-smoking, non-drugging, non-drinking, civic-minded, smart, responsible, kind and caring.

They're also healthy (in all ways) and beautiful!

Not just caring about their immediate families, but their friends, neighborhood, city, nation and world.

They donate to their favorite causes and charities.

They vote.

If anyone in their wide circle - be it friend, church member or someone they don't even know in their neighborhood or whom they've heard about loses a job, returns from a hospital stay, is ill or has suffered a setback? They seem to find out and show up with care packages - including stuff everyone needs like toilet paper, toothpaste, food, clothes for growing kids, gasoline gift card and the like. And of course they share the most precious gift any of us has: time.

In the 30 years or so they've been together, they've lent a helping hand to folks in need with everything from housework to accounting advice and services for the unemployed, terminally ill and others in need.

They've helped so many people over the years it's difficult to identify one story that stands out above the rest. More than once I've come by their house to see them packing up a large box sitting on their kitchen table I immediately recognize as another collection of goods heading for some needy person they either know or have heard about.

Here's one story that is my favorite: it's not about them, it's about their son, who changed his name later, but at seven years old it was Ben.

Penny and Adrienne have raised two terrific kids - a daughter and son - who are now married with kids of their own, so the Grrrls are having a heyday spoiling their grandchildren *rotten!* ;-)

Well, several years ago, I broke my ankle in a bicycling accident. I mean it was *broken,* turned 90 degrees so had to be set straight, operated on and put in a cast for several months. Right after the operation, Penny and Adrienne of course insisted I stay at their house - or, quite possibly, I begged. ;-)

There I was, lying on the couch already maxed out on pain killers and still in extraordinary agony, trying to nap to escape my misery - when out came Ben from the kitchen carrying a small tray with something on it.

He set the tray on the end table, and put an icy, wet washcloth across my forehead. As he rubbed the cloth so gently on my cooled forehead, he said in a most caring tone, "I hope this helps you feel better, Colleen."

Tears welled in my eyes - from gratitude and appreciation. I hugged him and said, "Ben, you have no idea how much better you've made me feel."

And that was the truth. Miraculously, the pain that had been so overwhelming but moments ago disappeared. He was thrilled at his success.

I was thrilled to know such a marvelous boy. And his family.

With all the ups and downs in the business of show, there are times when we all tend to question our sanity and even lose faith in ourselves. That period has never lasted long for me because when I came close to losing faith in myself, my friends would make it clear that they had enough faith in me for the three of us.

There was a time I hung out with people who weren't supportive of me, my dreams, my aspirations and my creative goals. Mercifully, those days are a distant memory because today I only surround myself with positive, caring, loving and supportive people - including my family!

Who got me through those tough days?

You guessed it.

I only hope I've given them as much love, care, attention and support over the years. Their karma is solid platinum; they deserve the happy, rewarding lives they live.

Ah, yes. I see clearly why religious rightwing Republicans vociferously deny these good women -and others like them - the right to marry.

Seriously. Let's review the facts .. and count the *numerous* ways they continue to undermine the American family:

1.

a new great big ol' aquarium!

So I pumped up the little two gallon fish bowl we used on the set to a seven gallon full-blown aquarium!

And got more neon tetra along with more flora for them to play in and munch on. These little guys are so much fun .. and calming .. to watch.

Sometimes they're tough to find because they're having fun swimming inside their playground plants, but they are getting braver about chasing one another in more open areas. Do fish play tag? They sure look like they do.

I think it might be difficult to name them until I learn to recognize their physical differences - but that won't take long.

One way I think they might help my writing: they're so interactive that it's easy to slip into a haze of anthropomorphism - attributing human emotions to these wee fins. Which would give me all sorts of dramatic consequenses for their (perceived) behavior that I would not otherwise come up with.

Then figure out how to make characters in my scripts suffer the same .. without referring to their gills, fins, and ..

Wait. Am I writing this or have I merely *thought* it...?

I mean, I don't want upcoming writers thinking that ... my fish ... are the real characters ... in my ... work ... ;-)

New lease on life!

This day not only marks the inauguration of the new blogger format, but my work on my dramatic short film FREEDOM and comedy feature script NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH is coming along terrifically.

I have to say that like every writer, I rely on specific people for thoughtful feedback for my work. My FYP partner, biz whiz and actress extraordinaire Brittany Quist has also turned out to be a very insightful script/character/story feedbacker. She always comes up with questions that result in me pushing the piece to a greater level of quality.

As I've blogged before, my writing partner John Beresford is also a trusted and spot on feedbacker!

It's always exciting to hear what questions they have for me to answer about the story, characters, etc.

Another bit of news that may not mean a lot to you but it's a *BIG* deal to me: I'm scheduled for breast reduction surgery at the University of Washington Medical Center in late November! Being "blessed" with oversized bazooms is not all it's cracked up to be!

Now what makes this an even bigger deal is that overall, the medical community does not believe that breasts that have been treated with radiation are good candidates for reduction surgery because the recovery can carry significant risks.

The radiated breast (or other body part radiated) has the side effect of compromised circulation, so generally they recommend a mastectomy be performed then rebuild the breast because recovery from general surgery can be slow - which can invite infection and other risks.

However, there is new information and research ... while admittedly more is needed ... that shows there are certain things surgeons can do to assist a positive outcome. I found some of that research on the internet and showed it to my doctor.

Well, this guy is the *most* conservative surgeon, and finally had me convinced that I had to undergo the mastectomy-rebuild route. I decided, OK, I *can* play golf after all; pat myself on the back and scratch where I couldn't reach before. You know me, always looking on the bright side ...

But after doing more research and consultating with other surgeons? He decided I would be a good candidate for reduction surgery!

I want to make it *very* clear that because of a number of physical and medical reasons I should be a good candidate! There is always the risk of complications, but knowing this doctor, if he didn't investigate ways to limit them, he wouldn't proceed. More, I totally accept the possible risks of this surgery. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm pimping reduction surgery for everyone who has had radiation, because so far the indications are that you face a 50-50 chance of serious risks for this surgery. Clear?

But! If all goes well, as I know it will?

It means at last I can run like the wind! Do cartwheels! Skip rope! Bop 'til I drop! Do back flips without suffering boob backlash! Play the oboe! ... wait. Where did that come from? Oboe?

Anyway, until my surgery date, I will be working out like a storm trooper because I want to be in the best physical shape I can to greet my new chest mates. My heartless personal trainer will see to it I'm fabulously fit!

As it is, Shirley (cancer-defeated side!) is smaller than LaVerne so my nickname is "Tilt." Not after the surgery! Hurrah!

Thanks for reading about this - had to share.

My new fish tank is in and all six fish are doing brilliantly! Photos coming tomorrow! I never thought I was a fish person .. like, ever!

But I never thought I was a dog person until Oscar came into my life and I spent two years socializing and training my wee pup, who had a very rough start.

Preproduction on FREEDOM is underway. We're thrilled that Shefskie Paba is building the set - it's such a significant character in the film, that we really need a keen artist's touch. We start designs straight away for late October/early November shoot.

It's a working weekend for me - writing, prepro and, like me, most of my actors are working Monday (it's a holiday in the US).

Have a smashing weekend!