Reaching out

A dear friend and I were discussing how, when people who are suffering through emotional turmoil or significant life problems and transitions need to reach out to people who care for them more than ever - in order to be safely still and work through their pain - they tend to do just the opposite.

They withdraw, run away, drown or suppress their feelings with anesthetizing chemicals, or hang out with people who enable them to stay stuck in their agony, all of which results in drawn out misery and negative outcomes -- until and unless they find they can tolerate the pain no longer, their lives become so unmanageable they realize they have no choice but to change or be lost in an emotional or lifestyle/behavioral quagmire they can't possibly handle -- or die.

It's sad and upsetting to watch them do this to themselves, when if they would instead reach out to caring, healthy friends and counseling, they would get to the other side of their grief and agony so much more quickly and less painfully.

Unfortunately, well-intended friends who share their concerns only tend to make their suffering pal angry, believing that those who care are being judgmental or don't understand or something equally as off-putting.

Then again, perhaps all those self-destructive actions were actually cries for help and they are not aware of it.

It's shocking how much better you'll feel if you share it with friends - after all, a problem shared is a problem halved.

I tend to reach out to friends, write ceaselessly and seek counsel if I'm really in a significant, emotional state.

Either way, I wish anyone and everyone suffering through any personal turmoil a speedy and compassionate recovery.