Wanna live a fearless life?

So many people come to me wanting to know how to overcome their fear.

They have the mistaken idea that I'm somehow fearless. Of course I'm not, but I try to keep what fears I do experience to a minimum - to those that are absolutely necessary.

Here's how I suggest they flip their fears into either excitement or having the clarity to understand what part of their fear is not realistic or actually necessary:

First, write down what your life would be like if you were fearless.

As in, "If I were fearless, if I lived life fearlessly --" what?

"I'd walk into a room and look for people I want to meet." (This instead of, "When I walk into a room, I'm afraid that everyone is looking at me and judging me.")

"I would speak up for myself. If that upset someone, I'd automatically know how to deal with the situation confidently."

List literally everything you can possibly think of that you would do and meet head on, fearlessly, instead of timidly or being too frightened to address as you are now. Don't leave anything out!

Remember, this list is all about "what if?" What if you lived your life 100% of the time fearlessly? Be as imaginative as you wish.

The flip side must also be be admitted and worked through.

How has being fearful screwed up your life? Hurt your relationships, work situations? List them - again, as completely as possible. Write down every tiny little "ick" memory of lost opportunities, feeling like a coward, whatever.

Being aware not only that you'd prefer to live your life fearlessly, but how you'd like to act fearless from your first list, you can systematically replace each incident of fear if not being outright fearless, at least coming up with a plan to help you deal with your feelings and act more courageously.

Normally these fears emanate from having low self-esteem. Almost everyone has challenges with self-esteem and there are lots of hints and tips online as well as in books at the library to pump up our self-worth and self-esteem.

Meanwhile, you've already made a map of how you'd like to behave; how you prefer to behave and react to the emotional skirmishes life hands you! It's not that great a leap from declaring "what if" to doing what you claim you want to do in real life.