Reflecting...

Over the next few months, there will be more good news about my work; it looks like everything is coming together at last, "it" is happening, wheels are turning - and for once they're all moving in the same direction.

When you hear about these things, they may look and sound "big," but the fact is neither me nor my life has changed - except I'm doing more of what I ordinarily do and have done for several years, and I'm getting paid to do it.

If any of what you might hear sounds like an "overnight" discovery or "success," that is the farthest thing from the truth. As my family, friends and colleagues can tell you, I've steadily and constantly worked to perfect my craft (an unattainable goal, btw) and to create work that cannot be denied as being good, if not great.

Despite the ridiculous financial challenges I've faced, I've always considered myself successful because I have been doing what I love, understanding how to improve it while being true to myself and eeking a living doing it!

And that state of near poverty was of my own making.

Not only did I refuse to give in and get jobs I knew would distract me from my writing and directing, several years ago when I apparently won a writing contest held by a notable studio, moving to LA and being paid by the company to work with them was part of the "win."

I said I could not move to LA. At the time I had several personal and financial obligations here, and one of the people interviewing me from the studio went *ballistic.* She said I was blowing the opportunity of a lifetime, my name would be Mud, etc.

Honestly, if I thought I had the *most* remote chance of winning the competition I would not have entered my script. I just wanted to see if the script did "anything" - or if I was kidding myself deciding to become a full time screenwriter.

OK, that question was answered - in a way that made me work that much harder on my craft.

And I've worked on projects in LA, and love working there.

I just can't *live* there.

Seattle is my home, the Northwest is my element. I always want to remember why I write - many screenwriters in LA have forgotten why they write because they're working for money - they have to; I want to maintain my low key lifestyle - one I can always afford, even if disaster strikes; I want to continue to be able to be minutes away from a great hike and a couple hours from the ocean as well as enjoy looking out my windows to see trees and wild flowers. I live in a rare, surrounded-by-woods, cabinesque home in north Seattle.

I'm happy to say that one of the other people on the interview panel for the studio called me later, telling me if she could help me in any way, she would be happy to. Our conversation was to be confidential. I tried to keep track of her, but the last I heard she had moved to two other studios. Gosh, a vocation with as little job security as broadcast journalism!

I've experienced dire financial states, fought an extended bout of breast cancer and suffered through many a sleepless in Seattle night wondering if I'd make that month's bills and rent.

Fortunately, my landlord was very understanding all the months I wasn't able to continue my full coaching work load, and therefore all my monthly rent payments because of several surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I'm still paying him back, with interest, and should be able to pay him off by the end of this year.

If you haven't guessed, my problem is that I like to do things my way. I'm not a "my way or the highway" person. But I am a "my way means we're into quality, doing it in a way that is professional, always raising my game, teaching me what I don't know and geared to raise your game as well." And independently. For better or worse, it seems that a clear vision without a million cooks trying to add their own seasonings in an attempt to "improve" it with that well known shallow "sensibility" only to make money works well for me.

Let the audience be my judge and jury.

I continued to screen everyone I coached - despite it cutting back on the number of clients I accepted (and therefore the money). I know most acting teachers accept the money of anyone who walks through the door. I just can't do that.

I also continued to fire folks who didn't do their homework or pursue an acting career seriously (actually they fired themselves) - especially living in Seattle, where everything takes longer anyway. Quality has to stand out and there are some really sound, proven ways to achieve that high quality.

I want everyone I coach to succeed - and do all I can to help them in their quest; sometimes I have to admit I was a bit too zealous in that quest. Heaven knows I'm not perfect, but my actors got work and their lives were profoundly and positively impacted.

My coaching practice is limited now because I'm working full time on The Whole Truth production and developing our next production.

Shoot dates for TWT are firm now - beginning in September for a 6 week SAG production in the state of Washington. Executive Producer Gary Allen Tucci and I are from this area and want not only to support the area's filmmaking industry, but its economy and reputation.

We're already planning the distribution of our film and other productions.

I'm writing this because I need to let people who will hearing about my work soon know that this has been a years-long, day after day pursuit of quality and craft, of writing hours every day not because I "had" to, but because I can't *not* write.

I produced, directed and wrote 16 short films to increase my skills and insights, I haven't had the time and I'm not really skilled in marketing them. I've worked on building relationships with industry people who are the real deal and whose values are similiar: respect, solid communication skills, a deal is a deal, keeping our word, no surprises.

I've belonged to a professional screenwriters' online group for some ten years - watching all of us bloom, one at a time. At least one of our members has written *blockbusters* and is one of the best people you'll ever meet.

I don't have an agent.

Most people think the situation in which I find myself is a miracle. But a long time client/friend told me, "You know, the way you live, the way you work, the way you think - I don't consider it a miracle. I knew something like this had to happen sooner or later."

By that he means I've been squirreled in my cabin writing and coaching and making short films with a plan. To do it independently, living here, with an execptional executive producer, to work with folks here and in LA or anywhere else the script, story and characters take us.

While the hope is for success of all our projects, this is not about money. It's about story and character and working with people who know what they're doing; who care about telling a great story in the best way possible on film for a reasonable budget.

And of course the proof is in the pudding. We have to make a film that you will love to see and would enjoy watching over and over again. My work is all about the audience - if you don't like it? Doesn't matter how much work we've done, how serious we were, how much money we had in the budget.

It all gets down to love. I love what I do, the people with whom I work, the script, the vision of it on the screen and audiences laughing themselves silly and crying at what they see and hear. Hopefully enough people will want to see it to enable us to continue doing this for a couple hundred years.

For all of you who have been with me through this journey over the years - thanks so much for being there, for never giving up on me and most of all for (to quote about a dozen movies and books) "loving me just as I am!"

Love you back!