Satisfaction

Heard the story of the man who "could hardly wait?"

Instead of appreciating where he was, what he had and enjoying living in the moment - making the most of the milestones he attained and creating special memories to mark each occasion - he always looked ahead to the next one. And the next one. And the next one-

In college he didn't take a class to learn, only to be able to take the next one after it.

He'd also try to finish whatever he was doing earlier than the original deadline so he could move on to what's next more quickly.

In some cases, before he sought his next destination, he would wonder why he wanted it so badly - he would ask, "Is that all there is?"

But still, when he reached those milestones or destinations, he had the same response - next!

From finding a job to finishing project after project to joining his boss's golf club to getting a promotion to finding a girlfriend to getting married to... whatever.

Next!

He could hardly wait.

When he died?

He was shocked. Stumped. And lost. There was nothing more for which he could "hardly wait" to do.

Instead, dazed, he experienced only an insatiable sense of emptiness. Looking back on his life, he sadly realized he hadn't lived it, he had only moved through it.

He never experienced satisfaction, only desire.

"Delayed gratification" was never part of his vocabulary.

There's nothing wrong with desiring anything, but perhaps achieving satisfaction from what is desired is a greater - more satistfying - goal.

As Sheryl Crow sings in her hit "Gonna Soak Up The Sun":

It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

And for those who wonder how to achieve satisfaction .. that's a much deeper question.

Just ask the Rolling Stones.

Look where you WANT to go!

I met someone at a dinner party recently who had the opportunity to take a course in race car driving - one lesson of which she takes with her through life now.

Basically, when a race car driver sees himself heading toward a collision, he must not look in the direction of the oncoming crash, but instead at where he wants to go to prevent the accident!

My dinner companion said she was certain she could do it. She understood its reasoning, how it would indeed prevent a tragedy and how effective the idea is for racing and for living.

But when she found herself behind the wheel of a simulated race car on the track, as she was barrellng toward a brick wall, she was paralyzed, staring at the oncoming barricade, caught like a deer in headlights.

The pro driver/teacher sitting beside her actually pushed her face toward where she needed to go to prevent the simulated smash-up.

"Look where you *want* to go, not where you're going," he admonished her.

Impressive advice.

I thought of all the times I had simply looked straight ahead unconsciously at where I was already going rather than awarely viewing - surveying - where I really wanted to go.

I'm very good about taking in the world around me when I take a walk, go for a ferry ride, hike, and drive. As Sherlock Holmes would put it, I like to observe rather than only see.

But to make a concerted effort to see and observe where I want to go, what I want to do? This concept is not just a way to live past a potential pile-up literally, but a great philosophy.

Let's say you're working as a plumber and where you really want to go - what you really want to do - is become a singer.

So instead of staring directly ahead at plumbing work day after day and feeling stuck there, you start looking where you want to go while still using your plumbing skills to keep you on the road.
You take voice lessons, study music, watch/listen to your favorite artists, perform at open mikes, network with pro's and work your way up the live performance and recording food chain, kicking off your career.

Or who knows? You may find something else along the way that turns you on even more because you're looking for how you want to feel as well as where you want to go!

In relationships, work, hobbies, special interests, volunteer opportunities, weight loss, releasing addictions, or life in general: are you aware of where you want to go? Looking in that direction? Keeping an eye out to find your personal passion or fulfilling work if you aren't sure what it is now?

Or are you gazing straight ahead, unaware where you're going or why, simply letting life happen to you without considering what else living may offer you - or what you have to offer yourself and the world?

There are times I have to remember to push my face in the direction I want to go because sometimes it's easier to keep marching straight ahead without listening to myself, becoming lost in the din of the world's white noise.

Then I realize if I don't give myself the opportunity to at least glance in the direction I want to go, no matter how difficult that might be, the only collision I have to worry about is running into myself.