Counting down to Nov 2 HEROES!

Elisabeth Röhm joins the cast for several episodes Monday, Nov. 2!

Here's her story line: she plays a kicking serious butt CIA agent, Lauren Gilmore, who at one time was very close with HRG (major Hero for the uninitiated).

They worked together and at one point had the opportunity to get even closer - but both chose to be ethical, since he was married at the time.

Deal is, to prevent any further stress for her (read: sexual tension, unrequited love, which as you know can create a distraction from major booty kicking), he erases her memory of their (Platonic but wanting more) relationship.

UPDATE: As it turns out, the story flips to HER erasing her own memory about their unrequited love - she "goes Haitian" on her own.

Flash forward to Nov 2, 2009.

Lauren shows up again - but even with her "memory" erased, she senses that she knows HRG on a very deep level. As Elisabeth put it, "like a soulmate."

So he's tormented. Only recently single, he knows what they've meant to one another, what they've felt - what he has continued to feel, but should he tell her? Should he allow himself to become close again?

She's confused, but knows there must be an unexplainable connection. A connection that feels strong, undeniable and "right."

As she told TV Guide (the picture is from its online interview with her), Elisabeth believes the idea of a soulmate resonates with her. That there are people with whom we are simply "meant to be." They may not be our spouses, or even in a sexual relationship at all - but there is a palpable, very real yet unexplainable heart, or soul, connection.

So we're left to wonder: will she figure it out? Will he tell her? Will she want to get closer? Will he allow their relationship to re-ignite now that they are both single? Will he tell her she erased her memory of their budding romance?

OK, because I happen to have directed her in THE WHOLE TRUTH I got some backstage ... well, I can't exactly call it "dirt," so I'll call it ... insight.

First and foremost, she has been incredibly "Impressed with the quality of work that everyone here strives to achieve." She says every one in every position at Heroes cares deeply about this program. Producers, directors, writers, actors, crew, no one takes their work on Heroes casually.

I pointed out that Heroes program runners don't have any say over changing program nights or times or delays in airing episodes, all of which have really upset fans. That's the network's doing. Folks associated with the show can only lodge their displeasure, but they are at the mercy of the same folks who have put Jay Leno on every week night at 10pm.

As for the work itself, Elisabeth says that the Heroes actors are the *best!* She says that to a person, every cast member has been professional, great to hang out with and are not afraid to do whatever it takes to make a scene work best.

Also that Heroes staff, cast and crew care very deeply about their fans.

Of course they're disappointed in the failing ratings - but they don't blame fans. They know their fans have had to endure some problems with the show and are doing everything they can to turn that around.

They hope bringing Elisabeth Röhm in for their first ever exploration of a romantic relationship in the mix of all those superpowers will strengthen their center, their core. I know I will be tuned in to my NBC channel Monday, Nov. 2, 8pm Eastern/Pacific 7pm Central.

And I can't help but think the greatest super power of all is love.

R u a romantic?

The thing about romantics is that they want things to be different than they really are.

They want things to be the way they want them to be. The way they feel they *should* be.

You know, romantics actually believe Cinderella is swept off her feet by Prince Charming and they live happily ever after -- even though they're missing a few (million) crucial steps to create a functional relationship.

Nothing wrong with wishing things could turn out that way though, eh? But believing that something should turn out a certain way because it's so romantic? Um, that's the recipe for a life rife with disappointment, I'm afraid.

But! It can be constructive or destructive romanticism.

Here's how it's destructive:

Like when we're first ga-ga over our someone new and special. We view that person through "rose colored glasses." Which means we don't see them the way they really are, or future trip about him/her enough to realize that those little habits and quirks we find so cute and cuddly now can feel like nails scraping a chalk board in only a matter of months.

That's romantic.

The realist in these situations is seen as hard, harsh, unromantic or even unfeeling. Not true!

The fact is the realist falls in love with the real person, not who they want the other person to be, not someone to "complete them," not someone to mother or smother them with love.

All too frequently a control freak is experienced in the beginning by a romantic as someone who cares so much about us they try to make things "right" for us. Isn't that sweet? Actually, no. Been there, done that!

The guy who seems so straight up, cute and smart - when googled? Turns out to have a myspace page full of brags about his drunken outings, crazy driving stories while smoking bud, descriptions of outsmarting the police and a list of "girls I'd like to bang."

Likewise, that down to earth girl next door-type you want to date? When googled? Turns out to have a myspace page full of photos featuring her nearly nude, suggestions of throwing open s&m parties, is irate that she was just fired from her job at McDonald's for being late every day ("What? They didn't party when they were kids?"), yadda yadda yadda, and at 25 she's been divorced twice.

Good idea to google your date these days, no matter how romantic. If you're really concerned? It's easy to get a criminal background check on anyone - just go to your stat patrol's website and for $10, they check for pedophile activity - for $25, they check for all criminal activity.

It may feel creepy to do these sorts of things if your new paramour's stories just don't add up, s/he's gone all the time, etc. But it's way better than having your heart broken and your bank account drained by some slob who doesn't care about you in the first place!

As for the "constructive" romantic:

These people envision things the want they want them to be in the future. Politics, art, culture, education, religion.

The Declaration of Independence is a romantic document. Declaring a nation where truth means we are all created equally, and entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It is that promise that makes the US so appealing - why everyone wants to come here. They may hate George Bush and US policies, but they love that promise.

And promises are romantic notions because so many of them are broken. Even when they're written contracts - signed and dated.

But so many - including me - have put on a uniform, willing to fight and die for my nation that has such a romantic notion. A notion I still believe in but have been greatly disillusioned along the way by the people who are supposed to be leading us toward those goals. They seem today to be leading us directly away from them.

I think perhaps reading that Declaration of Independence daily, before they start their workday, is something our politicians, government employees and school children may want to do, just to remind them what we're actually supposed to be working toward.

Romance itself is another subject entirely.

Romance is expressing love in a special way you love to show it.

Doing things with your paramour they love to do or doing things they want you to do is the best part of romance.

Writing notes is a loving thing to do - Sarah Jessica Parker says that she and husband Matthew Broderick do that for one another and each one is special.

Giving someone that special candy they love, the book they've been meaning to buy for months, a coupon for something they need to have done or would enjoy - all expressions of love because to be the right gift - we have to listen to the one we love in order to know what they want.

In short, a romantic deals with a notion, something that doesn't exist, but that s/he wants to materialize in reality. I can dream, wish and work to have the US live up to its Declaration of Independence promise - but it remains a promise nonetheless.

Romance is a fact, a reality. I give you a card. A poem. Sing you a song. Write you a blog. Train your dog. Wash your hair. It's an action we can see, hear, smell, taste, feel.

So for the addled romantic? I wish you a day of happiness with a dash of reality.

My hope for everyone else is a day of romance, with you receiving as many loving gestures as you give - including the romantic wish that your personal truth includes the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

What is love, actually?

Richard Curtis' film Love, Actually has me thinking a lot about the subject.

Flawed as it is, the film draws many sides of the faces of love.

Curtis writes a lot about the up sides of romantic love - his prior films being Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill.

If you are a faithful reader of my blog, you know I do not. For lots of reasons, one of which is that I'm pretty private about such matters.

But I was recently assigned to write a love poem for a poetry class I'm taking. I emailed it to another writer-classmate to take to the class for me since I had to work during the session that day.

Interestingly the writer-courier read it aloud to her husband before she left for the class.

And ... told me ... that ... because of this poem (can you believe it?) she was .. um .. late .. for .. class. They ... ah ... were inspired to take ... a moment ... to ... um ... how does one say? Reconnect ... after reciting ..

Moving on.

Mind you, I'm not a real poet like my best mate and writing coachee John Beresford, but here's what I wrote that was not only the inspiration for an afternoon delight (!) but also won a resounding round of praise from the teacher and class in my absence.

Real Love
by
Colleen Patrick

So much is written
When we‘re smitten
About love - it’s celestial glory
Not its end – a very different story

Hearts soar
Hormones roar
Make love on the floor
Desire ignites your deepest core

At last, you are somebody
In somebody else’s eyes
An awe-inspiring identity
Anyone would prize

You think about her all day
You dream about him all night
You picture the wedding
A spectacular sight

That is, unless you’re gay
Then it’s a union
For which you must pay
Still, it’s “our special day”

But so many months later
When your mind is thinking straighter
You wonder how you came to hate her
That facial tick – why’d you ever date her

You hope this time it’s going to stick
The thought of him won’t make you sick
He’s a catch, his clothes are slick
He loves you back, and it’s no trick

Respect and esteem grow
It must be your fate
You do what you know
To make her feel great

Day after day you care
You build, you arrange
You dare and you bare
Your soul, feeling strange

Yet one memory at a time
You create and you store
Hoping in your prime
You’ll make so many more

Love is not feeling divine
Or a thought at valentine
Or an amorous notion
Even a wish for devotion

Real love isn’t a dance
A trance
Built during a reverie
A romantic brewery

Nope, not even by a fraction
Real love? Real love is an action
A note, a caress, washing dishes, cooking dinner
Tell me I’m beautiful and that I look thinner