Ah, sweet misery of life ...

Rewriting.

It's the most frustrating, fun, stressful, exciting part of writing for me.

And it's where I'm at now on my screenplay, The Whole Truth.

It helps to have spot on feedback from my producer Larry Estes, encouragement from my best mate and British writer John Beresford and support from executive Gary Allen Tucci.

It's difficult for non-writers to understand that we're actually working - writing - when it does not look like we're working at all.

We can experience floating intermittent reveries (dreamy states) when we're on a writing jag. That is, falling into a semi-napping state, coming out of it, going back, actually taking a nap, waking up, and repeat. When we come to, we tap furiously on the keyboard to get every thought down on the screen before we lose or forget it.

I normally have my laptop on my lap so it's always at the ready for every plot twist and turn, character development or note I need to write immediately.

We may stare out the window for some time, or take on a certain look that sends us far, far away or into the world of the characters with whom we've shared our minds, or work on the puzzle of how to show a cerain thought without just saying it but showing it.

Then there's the all important walk or work out to keep the corpuscles flowing to our brains.

I'm not one to overwrite as many are. A comedy should come in at about 90-100 pages. It's just fine to go 140 pages then cut back, but I try never to exceed 100 because I'm editing scenes and dialogue in my head before I write it out.

In this case, the script lands at a solid 101. Longest comedy I've ever written.

I think it makes a difference if I direct the script because I tend to see it being shot in my head as I write it. When I lose that direct viseral connection, of seeing it in my head, of feeling in the company of the characters, things tend to go a bit awry in my writing.

No matter what, I'm having a great time on this rewrite rollercoaster, becoming a literary and photographic detective to solve the problems of the script structure and characters that make it most enjoyable for you to see on the large or little screen.

When we hit paydirt, get just the right answer for the question I've posed, hitting just the right note and tone to perfectly illustrate the scene or situation, then it feels like making a touchdown in the Superbowl! And believe me, the three dogs and kitty wish I didn't do it quite so vociferously!

They unfortunately are not fans of my work at all -- they enjoy sitting on or next to or against me when I write, but when I enthusiastically explain a perfect story turn or read great dialogue to them? Nothing.

Well, back to work. I *think* I've solved a problem I've been pondering awhile. Solid stuff, works much better in the story. It helps when I let the characters tell their own story more and I get out of the way.

I've decided to get rid of all the ending scenes - they just weren't strong or clear enough - and redo them completely.

The solution to their quality existence lies in the rest of the script. I have to put my investigative cap on, get under the skins of the characters and let them reveal what should happen that is real, fun and definitely a twist that has been indicated all along, but isn't apparent.

I'll never forget reading scripts for one of the funniest shows I've ever enjoyed, Absolutely Fabulous. They were not funny, just being read. Shocking.

But because the characters were so absurdly real, based on three genuine generations of people who have strongly addictive personalities and all that attends them (states of denial, constantly trying to fill the emptiness), the actresses portraying Eddy, Patsy, Saffron and Mrs. Monsoon (Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, Julia Sawalha and June Whitfield) were absolutely hilarious. And, it goes without saying, absolutely fabulous (in their own minds).

It also helped that its star, Saunders is the writer of the series, so she saw in her mind what would make it funny. She's a fearless writer, and I've admired a lot of her work, as well as the work she's created with her performing and writing partner, Dawn French. Their decades-long show, French and Saunders still enjoys the occassional reappearance on British television.

The key is to make sure whatever is produced is funny on screen. There have been some real hoot scripts that somehow didn't translate as hilarious on screen.

I do laugh a lot at my own stuff. That's not necessarily good if someone, like the audience - or a script reader, don't share the same sense of humor. That's the cool part of directing my own stuff because I understand how to make it look funny.

But that's half the fun. Enjoying all this angst and drama. The misery and high times experienced by those characters, that is.

Fortunately, my personal life is free from drama - I keep it strictly confined to my work!

The path to personal power

"Three things" is an exercise I've suggested to folks attending seminars I've conducted for The Artist's Way, The 100% Solution and others intended to boost self esteem and getting us in touch with all the intelligence and power we never use.

It's said that we use *less* than 10% of our intelligence in everyday life. That's less than 10% of the intelligence we are capable of using. What's going on with the other 90%? It sits there, lying fallow, subject to atrophy or disappearing.

If you've watched any of the American PBS series on the brain, science has proved at this point that the way to keep our mind sharp is to continuously learn new things.

To expose ours brains to new information, skills, ideas, subjects, activites and problems to solve.

This means new *different* data and movement.

For example, if you play piano, it doesn't mean learn new piano pieces, it means pick up the guitar as well. Learning new piano pieces keeps you where you are, taking on a new instrument fires up your brain to be more responsive, faster and actually smarter. Especially as we age.

Now, here's the "Three Things" exercise:

1) For every single thing you do, dream up two more ways to execute them, perform them, do them. 2) For every thought you have, dream up two more ways to think or respond to what's going on.

If you wake up when your alarm clock goes off, think of two other ways to get yourself up. You can have someone call you, wake up on your own, wait until your pup or kitty jumps on you or licks your face, set your cell phone, get a sunlight lamp to waken you.

If you ordinarily get out of bed by pouring yourself out on the left side of the bed? Think of two other ways you can get your feet on the floor. Get out on the right side, get off at the end of the bed. Two other ways.

If you ordinarily start your day by thinking about how you dread going to work, create two other thoughts to kick off the first day of the rest of your life.

If you ordinarily get pissed when someone cuts you off in traffic, think of two other responses you can have to the event, like: 1) Nice. Time to slow down and smell the roses. Or, 2) Guess I can't say anything - I've accidentally done the same thing myself and more than once.

Now when it comes to the "doing" - you don't have to actually do anything differently, you just have to come up with two other ways you could.

So if you ordinarily have cornflakes for breakfast and think of two other things you could eat - soft boiled eggs or yogurt - you don't actually have to consume either of the other two choices. But before you chow down your flakes, be sure to consider your alternatives.

I can guarantee you, as you get started, you can't do this for more than a couple hours - if that - before you get tired, because we're not practiced in the habit of coming up with other choices; we usually do "the same old thing," and wonder how we wake up one day in the place we are - finding ourselves in a rut.

For artitsts? If you always use blues, why not reds? Yellows? Greens? New mixtures?

For writers? If your protagonist is always in Los Angeles, why not Paris? Why not Geneva?

Mind you, if you make your living photographing flowers, that's terrific. But think of two different objects to shoot as you do this and you'll always come up with a fresh angle and see your subjects with new eyes.

If you only write books, why not explore a screenplay, a poem, a lyric? Most writers I know create work for all genres and mediums. I think it keeps us and our work fresh.

Likewise, as a writer, I work alone long periods of time. That's why it's fun for me to coach people one on one as well as do occasional seminars and attend social engagements surrounded by people.

As a writer, director and coach, I'm in charge. I like doing things where I am just one of the bunch, not in a leader position or have anything to say about anything. I like to think of myself as an equally good teacher, student and observer.

The outcome of doing this exercise - at least beginning your day doing it - is twofold.

First, you'll be thrilled at how powerful you are! It is shocking to experience all the power we can use when we choose.

Second, you'll be totally bummed by thinking about all the personal power never used, all the missed opportunities and brainpower we've wasted.

But here's a way to ramp up your mind, your self-esteem, your relationships, job, dreams, goals, everything.

If you're feeling trapped, pour on the Three Things exercise about anything and everything until you start coming up with other ways to manage your life that don't include captivity.

Brain power!

Iraq US death toll passes 4,000

Here are some photographs President Bush, Vice President Cheney and others in the current administration do not want you to see.

It reminds us of the reality of war in Iraq.

How the power of the "surge" only temporarily rescinded violence to spur the Iraqi government to negotiate a peace settlement - which it has not. How our military is being decimated by the war in Iraq. How our economy is imploding in large part due to the Iraq war, yadda yadda yadda.


















This happens daily - bodies of US soldiers and civilians killed in Iraq coming home draped in flags. Cheney today echoed what other Republican politicians have said: volunteer soldiers sign up for this duty, knowing that this could well be the outcome.

As in, volunteers sign up to die.

Personally, I believe all flags throughout the US should be flown at half mast, recognizing the daily death toll taken by the war in Iraq. This does not even take into account the reported hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis - children, women and men - who have been caught in the middle and killed because the US President/Vice President pushed us into a war with a soverign nation that did not have weapons of mass destruction, al queda, or any of the untruthful "threats" they insisted Iraq posed to our nation.

Meanwhile, al queda is licking its chops, growing all over the world while the US breaks its military and banks in Iraq, insisting that we're fighting the few al queda members in Iraq so we don't have to "fight them here."

There is no small cell of al queda. They are in every nation, and they are succeeding in some of their goals: to break the US economically; to drain our military; to scare us into misdirecting our security efforts in places that are wasteful and ignorant.

I do believe Western nations are facing a threat from terrorists - who are not in Iraq.

Why is it every other nation seems to know and understand this except the United States?

Honestly, sometimes I wonder whose side Bush and Cheney are actually on. Other than Senator John McCain's.

What a brutal, bloody, expensive, wasteful shame.

Rest in peace, courageous heroes who have given your lives for our nation, knowing your civilian leaders would never do the same, even if there were no "volunteer" military force.

Attending Oprah's Class

No matter how you feel about the philosophies discussed by Oprah and author/spiritualist Eckhart Tolle about his book A New Earth, it's a fascinating insight into the capacity for the individual human experience, the individual's human potential and the constructive potential of humanity, despite the wretched and destructive acts with which the media are filled - to which we expose ourselves near daily.

I'm watching it live every Monday at 6pm Pacific US time; up to two million viewers have watched a single session. I'm enjoying the discussion immensely. A lot of what is said is a reflection of my points of view - much of which you've read here, so I'm probably biased.

The 90-minute classes, based on Oprah's latest book club selection, are webcast - it's reportedly drawn the largest audience for any webcast ever - so there were a few bugs to work out in the beginning. The webcast sessions are now flawless.

We're on chapter four; you can catch up by downloading the video webisodes, the audio podcasts or the transcripts - reading the book and filling out the workbook that you can dowload from Oprah's website.

Bring an open mind, a desire to be happy, to love yourself and to succeed - as a person and as a contributor to the world.

Leave behind the desire to smack Oprah for interrupting Tolle as much as she does when she has her "AHA!" moments. Moments we may or may not share ... ;-)

Inspiring family puts the fun in functional!

Animal Planet features a marvelous series of programs about wild animals "growing up," following them from birth to adulthood.

The most intriguing and pleasing side story that isn't even mentioned in episodes that feature baby wildlife being raised by humans for their safety or survival is the incredible closeness and functionality of the human family raising these unique animals.

In one of my very favorites, Growing Up Black Leopard, little Eddy, a black leopard who must be taken from his abused parents or they will harm him, is taken at birth - weighing 1.5 pounds - and raised on Colorado's Rocky Mountain Wildlife Conservation Center; the same reserve that rescued his parents.

The animal sancturary, run by an extraordinary family - dad Pat Craig, mom Shelley, and two (now teenage) sons Casey and Kelly - was the subject of a Reader's Digest story that reported how it was for the family caring for unwanted and abused large wild animals as the kids themselves have been growing up.

Many of the animals in the sanctuary are rescued from people who thought it would be fun to get a tiger or lion cub and realized too late that they are not domestic pets. In too many cases, ignorant owners abuse the animals in an attempt to "train" them or keep them from harming others and destroying property.

Having worked at the Seattle Animal Shelter for two years as a volunteer, I can say this is the major reason dogs end up being brought to the "pound." Because owners don't know how to train themselves- um, I mean the puppies as they grow, they surrender them to shelters since dogs don't train themselves to be well behaved and non-destructive. Like any animal they don't know what "destructive" is until someone shows them not to behave that way.

Each Craig family member takes part in Eddy's upbringing, nurturing and care. Everyone works together around the clock and it's clear they love all their animals. In addition to caring for dozens of large wildlife on the huge sanctuary, the family has several dogs and cats - all of whom do their part to play with and help Eddy grow up. Well, one cat didn't seem too pleased with his company, but the rest were just fine and enjoyed interacting with him.

Eddy learned just how far he could go extending his claws and biting as he grew larger to make sure he did not hurt the domesticated pets. The only way Eddy could be raised properly is to have nearly - or literally - 24/7 supervision, which is why each of the four family members was vital to his healthy growth.

None of the Craigs feel this is something they "should" do - they want to do it; it's their passion.

They love their work, each other, and have a great respect not only for one another but the animals and the knowledge it takes to raise these unusual and in some cases endangered and dangerous beasts in a way that is healthy and safe for the wildlife and themselves.

There's no "generation gap" between the Craig adults and teenagers because the kids have been raised to nurture and care for others since birth (Pat and Shelley were married and caring for the big animals years before their children were born).

Everyone must communicate and cooperate; each person has a meaninful task to carry out, and the each member is needed to make the whole rescue operation function. They are proud they do what they do, of who they are and the difference they make in the world of the animals for whom they care.

During the growing up period, Eddy sleeps with Casey, and takes his daily shower with him as well. In the wild, Eddy's mother would clean him completely every day, so the shower is a must. The cub grew to love being in and around water.

This Animal Planet episode is narrated by none other than multi-award winning actress and animal lover Edie Falco, who does part of her work at the sanctuary itself, interacting with Eddy as a juvenile.

A black leopard is the same as a lighter leopard, only the spots are more difficult to see because of its black coat; likewise, the black leopard is also known as a black jaguar.

If you want to know the lastest about Eddy, you can catch the latest news, plus pictures, here. Be prepared to see him as an adult - he has grown to be a proud, beautiful and *huge* kitty!

The program itself showing Eddy growing from a pound and a half tiny cub to 100 pounds, which is when he needs to be socialized with other wildlife, can be viewed periodically on the Animal Planet Channel (check the schedule), downloaded here for $1.99/USD from the Discovery Channel store, or purchased as a DVD here.

As I say, if you want to see how a family stays close, positive, functional, peaceful and happy - take a look at how the Craigs make it happen - effortlessly.

One of the first steps I take to direct a film

Putting up pictures and artwork all over my writing area is the way I begin the construction of my color palette for directing the film, The Whole Truth. I'll get many ideas for scenes, color schemes, sets, wardrobe, hair, makeup, all visual components of every scene.

Most of the paintings are impressionist because impressions are what the film is about. Humor is the bright color - but if you could see these photos up close you'd see that the bright colors are surrounded - framed - with dark colors. Bright white snow covers the dark colors - the humor covers the dark schemes that are in the film.

I'll compare my notes with the set designer's and together we'll come up with memorable scenes that support the story and characters - and in fact generate characters in their own right. Just as music is a character, etc.

Here I have two large posters of Sarah Bernhardt, arguably the world's greatest actress - at least during the 19th century - pictured and painted performing and lounging "in real life."

I have several reasons for using them, which you'll understand when you see the film!

I surround myself with all sorts of visual ideas and stimulants that contribute to creating tones, nuance, visual comments, all coming together to construct an ensemble of sound, music, lighting, acting and all the elements that go into making a film.

It all contributes to the details that make the difference between an OK experience watching the screen and something that sticks with you after you leave the theater or finish watching the dvd.

Today marks year #5 of US war in Iraq

-Do you feel more secure if you live in the US?
-Do you believe our military is stronger and more capable than it was 5 years ago?
-Do you know that while the "surge" has "worked" to decrease the number of US soldiers and innocent Iraqis from being killed, the point of the "surge" has not worked because the point was to decrease violence so the Iraqi government could make progress toward peace through agreements and treaties. ALMOST NO PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE.
-Do you know that this lesser level of violence is expected, even by US military leaders, to be only temporary and without significant Iraqi governmental progress, will emerge again even more furiously, with even greater death and disability counts for US military and civilian workers as well as innocent Iraqis.
-Do you know how this unnecessary military action has dessimated our economy?
-Do you know that Saddam Hussein had *nothing* to do with 9/11?
-Do you know Saddam Hussein detested extremist Muslims and kept them out of Iraq or contained because they would challenge his authority?
-Do you know that, according to a poll widely reported, more than 60% of Iraqis believe it is OK to kill Americans?
-Do you know that Iraqis now consider Americans an occupying force, not a "liberating" force.
-Does it look like democracy is being practiced there now? That it will be any year soon?
-Do you know that more than 3,990 American soldiers have been killed in this Iraq war?
-Do you know that more than 25,000 American soldiers have been injured in a way that will leave them disabled in some way the rest of their lives?
-Do you believe that you were told the truth about the US invasion of Iraq?
---That US military would be greeted as heroes, liberators and saviors?
---That there were weapons of mass destruction there? (Um, unlike what the Bush administration has claimed, almost NO intelligence community - including the UN *and* the US's own National Intelligence Estimate - believed Saddam had WMD's, or that the US should invade Iraq - which is why almost no nations joined us in the "war" in any meaningful way, and why so many people despise the US government now)
---That the Iraqis would pay for the war with their oil money so we wouldn't have to foot the bill (we're going on 3 TRILLION dollars' debt from this war)
---That Iraqi oil would help reduce gas prices in the US
---Do you know how many innocent Iraqis have been killed and disabled because of our military action there?
---Do you know how many of our own soldiers have been killed and disabled with stolen American weapons (more than $10 million worth of American arms were stolen in the early days of the incursion because of lax security).
---Do you know how many of our own soldiers have been killed and disabled because they were poorly equipped, poorly armed, and poorly protected?
---Do you feel the sacrifices the military families have made are worth the Bush administration's policies?
---Do feel that it's fair that a bank gets bailed out immediately with $30 billion of our taxpayer money, but that millions of people are being evicted from their homes because of devious lending practices that came home to roost? The Bush policy: When ordinary people are victimized, it's because we're stupid and should have known better. When banks go under, it's because of something that was beyond their power. Actually, no. They got so full of themselves they went down as all those with an overdose of hubris ultimately do.
---Do you know that many of the issues, including ignorance from poor educations, we're facing today that are so extreme find their roots in poverty? Whether or not you are poor?

Charles Dickens wrote in A Christmas Carol that the two greatest enemies of humankind are ignorance and want (poverty). Of the two, ignorance is the most incindiary.

I hope voters take care to inform themselves this year and aren't swayed by the spin on either side.

I miss John and Elizabeth Edwards.

Stop! Thief! Stop thieves!

Yeesh.

There I was, on top of the world working on the preproduction of my feature "The Whole Truth" with a team that is turning out to be a dream of topnotch talent and skill (tell you about them next week) - when what should my wandering eyes behold?

Several photos I've taken and thoughts I've written stolen from my blogs!

Someone crediting me with the photo or quote is fine - but claiming to have not only taken the photo but owning the animal in the shot sent my Irish ire into the statosphere.

Someone with the online name of "pilar" claims the photo of the baby pygmy goat I took is the photo of *her* goat named "Jacques."

I took the photo, but the wee goat herself belongs to Dee, the president of the National Pygmy Goat Association here in Washington State.

There were other photos of animals supposedly owned by "pilar" on her impossible to reach her through it group website, so I complained to the owner of the group - who told me to jump through a billion hoops in order to make an official complaint to Microsoft.

I wrote him back that I would think Microsoft, which has lost millions of dollars from piracy, would have a simpler, direct method of reporting such thievery of intellectual property.

This is my kitten and my photo, despite others claiming to own both.

It's much easier when folks just lift photos and quotes for their personal blogs and websites where they can be reached. They're usually good about giving credit when they've been reached, too.

It made me wonder how many photos and quotes are stolen then used as if the individual claiming them is the originator and not another person's - the real photographer or writer.



















This is Allie Cat, sound asleep, hanging out of her little tent bed, fully grown, a year later. Incredibly affectionate, lively and amazingly athletic!

When I don't use my own pictures, I normally use photos that are in the public domain, but if they're on a public or personal website I credit folks when it's in order.

All the work on my blogs and website is copyrighted, as are my columns and articles and everything else here.

Likewise, all work created for anything - including the web - should be considered copyrighted, that is legally owned, by the original writer or photographer.

The more personal the information, the more important it is to check with them if you can have permission to use it on your website/blog giving them credit.

When it comes to using newspaper articles and so on, I just link them so you can read them for yourself from the original source. I also credit the publication, reporters and writers whose link I'm sharing.

I guess I should be flattered that people would want to use my thoughts and photographs, but I'm not because the people using them without credit are actually telling people it's their work, their animals, their thoughts, their writing, their photographs.

To everyone who does that? Cut it out.

To folks who share my thoughts and photos with credit *and* a link? Thanks!

Edited to add: apparently stealing darling pet photos is practiced by people who sell puppies, kittens and other pets online. They grab photos from legitimate breeders and other websites that feature photos of terrific looking, cute or handsome kittens, pups, and other pets they supposedly sell.

Frequently these sellers are not legitimate, or the pets they're breeding in their back yards or puppy mills do no look good, let alone great, so they substitute another pet's photograph on their website, claiming it's theirs.

If you're looking for a pet online, it's important to pick up you pet in person, when you pay, so the pet you see in the photo will be the same - or at least see the pet on a web cam to prove it's really the one whose picture you've seen.

It's also important to make sure the animal is well - careless breeders send pets with parasites and other illnesses, leaving the unwitting victim-buyer in another state to pay sometimes thousands of dollars trying to "cure" the poor sickly pet. Frequently psychological problems also accompany a sick pet purchased from nefarious sellers who do not care at all about animals, only the money they can take from you.

Legitimate breeders always take very good care of their animals and have arrangements made in the even the one they sell to you has problems.

























One of my dogs was born with a congenital hip problem. That's Seeker, seen here. The breeder paid for the surgery and care he needed before she gave him to me, neutered, to be raised as a pet.

Purebred pups who are sold as pets should be sold "fixed," and considerably less expensive than show dogs!

Today Seeker's a very loving, overly energetic, enthusiastic pup who's into *everything!*

And I couldn't be happier - he's also easy to train.

Wanna read the big O nominated scripts?

Screenwriters, actors, directors, producers and fans - go to this website and download them for free.*

Oscar-nominated original and adapted screenplays over the years are available, along with the most current cream of the Academy crop: Juno, Michael Clayton, the works.

Not all of them are the final version of submission or shooting drafts, but they are at a point where you can still appreciate the story, characters and/or writing.

In some cases, I think you'll be aware of how influential the director and/or actors were to elevate the level of the script; in other cases you'll see nearly every word typed on the page made it up on the stage (screen) exactly as written because the quality of the screenplay was the epitome of excellence.

Open, download, print or leave it on the screen and scroll.

Then read amongst yourselves. Have fun!

*Thanks for this invaluable website tip goes to the Northwest Screenwriter's Guild, of which I am a proud member!

Back to booty camp!

Whew!

Spring is just around the corner, which means Seattle Weight Loss Boot Camp is back in action!

So there I was in the dark of a cloudy early morning - outside, working out in my t-shirt and long pants and headband on a 45F chilly morning with many other women striving for a healthier, stronger body, rain or shine!

I am so glad I've been working out at my nearby gym over the three months booty camp took a winter break - I remained in good shape - the workout was not nearly as hard for me as it was when I started, though it's always challenging.

Our coach Kimae Dolan, has switched things up a bit in a way I love - there's more attention to us listening to our bodies rather than just doing exercises, walking or running and doing certain yoga poses without any significant internal work.

She's all about nutrition as well, so it's an all-'round body fest. I'm always surprised how many booty camp members seem to start with a great looking body - they're there to up their health, strength, nutrition and holistic approach to their bodies. So even though it also helps women with weight issues, as the name suggests, it's clearly for everyone looking for a better relationship with their bodies.

Oh - I was the only one in a t-shirt; everyone else was bundled up in jackets and hats and muffler scarves, assuming I was *freezing.* Well, truthfully, I was a little chilly at the start - I forgot my gloves in the car. But warmed up right away. Tomorrow, if it's raining, I'll wear a light windbreaker and cap.

Feels good to be back in the tough workout groove, feeling so much stronger and capable! And there's always that feeling of superiority for getting up and out so early!

Oooooh, yeah.

Speaking of which... Wow. I *really* need a nap.

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Meanwhile, I know my blogs on political subjects and issues is a real crowd pleaser, so I'm sorry I've taken a break from them - and will continue to avoid writing them for the next couple weeks.

Alas, I am entirely fed up - as in genuinely nauseous - with the overwhelming dose of hypocrisy by so many politicians on both sides of the aisle, as well as the apparently insurmountable stew of corruption in the Bush administration. It will take years - if not decades - to undo the harm done by this administration to this nation as a whole, the three branches of government - legislative, executive and judicial, the military, the eroded state of security for this nation, the dessimated environment, the economy that not only puts the dollar at its lowest value in many decades, if ever; the astronomical fuel costs we will face which also crushes the economy -- all of this topped with our pathetic standing in the world.

The reason for the three branches of government is what's called a system of checks and balances. That system was corrupted and crushed by the Bush administration. There was no oversight of the president's actions, inactions, misfires and horrific mistakes which only landed more taxpayer-supported wealth in the pockets of multinational corporations whose only allegiance is to money.

I'm thrilled young people are getting involved with the political process - we need folks who aren't jaded and who have a belief in hope that we can get our country back. I hope they run for office with the idea of kicking a little booty to make change happen without falling into the mindset that being re-elected and maintaining a certain power that makes them feel they are above the laws they pass are more important than the welfare of our citizens or the nation as a whole.

Like I say, I need a break from these things to get a little balance myself, and to enjoy the heck out of my life these days, doing what I love and hopefully helping a lot of people around me.

Peace.

Reflecting...

Over the next few months, there will be more good news about my work; it looks like everything is coming together at last, "it" is happening, wheels are turning - and for once they're all moving in the same direction.

When you hear about these things, they may look and sound "big," but the fact is neither me nor my life has changed - except I'm doing more of what I ordinarily do and have done for several years, and I'm getting paid to do it.

If any of what you might hear sounds like an "overnight" discovery or "success," that is the farthest thing from the truth. As my family, friends and colleagues can tell you, I've steadily and constantly worked to perfect my craft (an unattainable goal, btw) and to create work that cannot be denied as being good, if not great.

Despite the ridiculous financial challenges I've faced, I've always considered myself successful because I have been doing what I love, understanding how to improve it while being true to myself and eeking a living doing it!

And that state of near poverty was of my own making.

Not only did I refuse to give in and get jobs I knew would distract me from my writing and directing, several years ago when I apparently won a writing contest held by a notable studio, moving to LA and being paid by the company to work with them was part of the "win."

I said I could not move to LA. At the time I had several personal and financial obligations here, and one of the people interviewing me from the studio went *ballistic.* She said I was blowing the opportunity of a lifetime, my name would be Mud, etc.

Honestly, if I thought I had the *most* remote chance of winning the competition I would not have entered my script. I just wanted to see if the script did "anything" - or if I was kidding myself deciding to become a full time screenwriter.

OK, that question was answered - in a way that made me work that much harder on my craft.

And I've worked on projects in LA, and love working there.

I just can't *live* there.

Seattle is my home, the Northwest is my element. I always want to remember why I write - many screenwriters in LA have forgotten why they write because they're working for money - they have to; I want to maintain my low key lifestyle - one I can always afford, even if disaster strikes; I want to continue to be able to be minutes away from a great hike and a couple hours from the ocean as well as enjoy looking out my windows to see trees and wild flowers. I live in a rare, surrounded-by-woods, cabinesque home in north Seattle.

I'm happy to say that one of the other people on the interview panel for the studio called me later, telling me if she could help me in any way, she would be happy to. Our conversation was to be confidential. I tried to keep track of her, but the last I heard she had moved to two other studios. Gosh, a vocation with as little job security as broadcast journalism!

I've experienced dire financial states, fought an extended bout of breast cancer and suffered through many a sleepless in Seattle night wondering if I'd make that month's bills and rent.

Fortunately, my landlord was very understanding all the months I wasn't able to continue my full coaching work load, and therefore all my monthly rent payments because of several surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I'm still paying him back, with interest, and should be able to pay him off by the end of this year.

If you haven't guessed, my problem is that I like to do things my way. I'm not a "my way or the highway" person. But I am a "my way means we're into quality, doing it in a way that is professional, always raising my game, teaching me what I don't know and geared to raise your game as well." And independently. For better or worse, it seems that a clear vision without a million cooks trying to add their own seasonings in an attempt to "improve" it with that well known shallow "sensibility" only to make money works well for me.

Let the audience be my judge and jury.

I continued to screen everyone I coached - despite it cutting back on the number of clients I accepted (and therefore the money). I know most acting teachers accept the money of anyone who walks through the door. I just can't do that.

I also continued to fire folks who didn't do their homework or pursue an acting career seriously (actually they fired themselves) - especially living in Seattle, where everything takes longer anyway. Quality has to stand out and there are some really sound, proven ways to achieve that high quality.

I want everyone I coach to succeed - and do all I can to help them in their quest; sometimes I have to admit I was a bit too zealous in that quest. Heaven knows I'm not perfect, but my actors got work and their lives were profoundly and positively impacted.

My coaching practice is limited now because I'm working full time on The Whole Truth production and developing our next production.

Shoot dates for TWT are firm now - beginning in September for a 6 week SAG production in the state of Washington. Executive Producer Gary Allen Tucci and I are from this area and want not only to support the area's filmmaking industry, but its economy and reputation.

We're already planning the distribution of our film and other productions.

I'm writing this because I need to let people who will hearing about my work soon know that this has been a years-long, day after day pursuit of quality and craft, of writing hours every day not because I "had" to, but because I can't *not* write.

I produced, directed and wrote 16 short films to increase my skills and insights, I haven't had the time and I'm not really skilled in marketing them. I've worked on building relationships with industry people who are the real deal and whose values are similiar: respect, solid communication skills, a deal is a deal, keeping our word, no surprises.

I've belonged to a professional screenwriters' online group for some ten years - watching all of us bloom, one at a time. At least one of our members has written *blockbusters* and is one of the best people you'll ever meet.

I don't have an agent.

Most people think the situation in which I find myself is a miracle. But a long time client/friend told me, "You know, the way you live, the way you work, the way you think - I don't consider it a miracle. I knew something like this had to happen sooner or later."

By that he means I've been squirreled in my cabin writing and coaching and making short films with a plan. To do it independently, living here, with an execptional executive producer, to work with folks here and in LA or anywhere else the script, story and characters take us.

While the hope is for success of all our projects, this is not about money. It's about story and character and working with people who know what they're doing; who care about telling a great story in the best way possible on film for a reasonable budget.

And of course the proof is in the pudding. We have to make a film that you will love to see and would enjoy watching over and over again. My work is all about the audience - if you don't like it? Doesn't matter how much work we've done, how serious we were, how much money we had in the budget.

It all gets down to love. I love what I do, the people with whom I work, the script, the vision of it on the screen and audiences laughing themselves silly and crying at what they see and hear. Hopefully enough people will want to see it to enable us to continue doing this for a couple hundred years.

For all of you who have been with me through this journey over the years - thanks so much for being there, for never giving up on me and most of all for (to quote about a dozen movies and books) "loving me just as I am!"

Love you back!

The promised announcement:

Heart Break Productionz LLC

presents

The Whole Truth

... a fully funded independent SAG feature film to be made in Washington State this year; preproduction has been underway for more than a week; cameras turn this fall.

Executive Producer: Gary Allen Tucci
writer/director/co-producer Colleen Patrick

“The Whole Truth” is a screwball comedy -- with a twist!

Cast and crew will be hired from LA and locally; information will be released as it can be made available. After a long day of preproduction meetings with industry folks, all I'll say is that everyone is very excited about the project. Including me and Gary.